
The Pilgrim’s Pouch: The Sanctuary
Finally, you have arrived! Now you can remove your hat, sit down in the first place you find, and take a breather. When your eyes get accustomed to the dim light in the sanctuary, which contrasts with the light outside, you can take a look around you. Remember that each place has its own feel: the way sounds echo, particularly that of the sweet hymns and prayers that almost carry you away to another time or take you another world; the smell of the incense or the smell of mould; the effect of the natural light that comes through the windows, making the sanctuary seem either dark or bright; the colours of the walls and the ceiling, the brush strokes of the art pieces, or the decorative motifs … until your eyes rest on the heart of the sanctuary, the place that is most holy and worthy of veneration, that which draws pilgrims like yourself to undertake a long journey from a faraway place.
Now that you have cooled down, recovered, rested your feet, and began to marvel at the majestic and simple beauty around you … now you can pray. But what are you going to pray?
Prayer is a very subjective experience, just like any other relationship. Initially, the infinite will adapt itself to you and allow you to pour into its lap what you have brought with you in the pouch on your back: that which motivated you to begin this journey, what you discovered and understood about yourself, about Him, and about your companions along the way. You can place before Him the burdens you brought with you. The stillness and the solitude of the sanctuary do not feel out of place. You could actually find meaning in it as well. Sweat and tears can fill the holy water font or even be changed into the wine of joy, as we were taught by Dun Karm, our national poet: “Int għallimtna tan-niket il-hena, Int għallimtna fil-hemm inberkuk”—You taught us the joy of sorrow, You taught us to bless You in times of trouble.” Shortness of breath can make way for the Holy Breath. A sense of guilt and hardness of heart, repentance, forgiveness, freedom … you can experience these in His presence, especially if you have the opportunity and enough courage to celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and maybe also partake in the Eucharistic feast of the Son who has brought back home all His lost children. Confess your loyalty to the Church by reciting the Creed and pray to God as your Father through the prayer that unites you to humanity.
This is how you’ll learn to pray: by resting, rejoicing, and be restored in the presence of Him who continually loves you and draws you to Himself. Allow Him to embrace you while you also embrace Him and pledge yourself to Him, the One whom you will never lose because He does not want to lose you either.
It is in silence that the wounds of the heart, the scars of the soul, and the traumas buried deep within our memory can be healed. It is in that present moment that the mist of the past and of the future fades, and everything stands clear before you, even if it is only just for a few seconds …This is prayer! It is here that your thirst and that of the Infinite become a spring that flows unceasingly because it is “the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb” and also from your heart … water by which you also can bear good fruit that satisfy because it is watered by the Infinite, leaves that can be crushed into a healing balm of love (see Rev 22: 1-3) … and not just for yourself!
Psalm 84: Longing for God’s Dwelling
2How lovely is your dwelling place,
O LORD of hosts.
3 My soul yearns and is filled with longing
for the courts of the LORD.
My heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.
4 Just as the sparrow searches for a home
and the swallow builds a nest for herself
where she may place her young,
so do I seek your altars,
O LORD of hosts, my King and my God.
5 Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they offer continuous praise to you. Selah
6 Blessed are those who find strength in you,
who set their hearts upon your ways.
7 As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
they turn it into a region of springs,
and the early rain covers it with pools.
8 They move forward with increasing strength
as they behold the God of gods in Zion.
9 O LORD of hosts, hear my prayer;
listen to my pleas, O God of Jacob. Selah
10 O God, look upon our shield
behold the face of your anointed one.
11 It is better to spend one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in God’s house
than dwell inside the tents of the wicked.
12 The LORD God serves as our sun and our shield;
the LORD showers us with grace and glory.
He does not withhold any good thing
from those who walk in integrity.
13 O LORD of hosts,
blessed is the man who puts his trust in you.